I have never lived like this before. At least, not since I was a child myself. Only now I have the capacity to enjoy every moment. I'm writing this with a little one squirming on my lap and listening to "This Is Where," by The Wailin' Jennys as the other little ones are put down for their afternoon nap.
The sun is shining today. That's very good, because it'll dry our clothes outside. Inside, the fan is going full blast, but it's on the inverter, because my battery on my computer is slowly draining. Outside of the window, the sunshine gleams on all the foilage in the still, warm air. In short, it's a golden afternoon. Someday when I'm old, I'll close my eyes and wish to be where I am now.
I wish I could express how lovely each day is. Something funny or beautiful or meaningful happens every day. Life here is so much slower, and I love it.
Back home, I rushed around all the time, searching for pleasure and excitement, and sulked when I couldn't find it. I would tell you that Jesus Christ was the only thing that could fill every nook and cranny of my hungry soul, but that's not how I lived. I tried to see how much work I could do to earn time for myself, and when I got it, I hid away and vainly attempted to make myself believe that I was happy. Life was so insipid, so meaningless. Something was horribly wrong. I know I love the Lord, but where was my joy? I had told someone several weeks ago that I couldn't remember the last time I had felt true joy bubble up within me so that I could not keep from singing.
I'm determined that this be a short blog post, so I will not explain fully right now. Suffice it for now to say that as I'm here serving the Lord, joy has found me again. Every day as I give and serve, I know what it is to live for God's greater glory. Here out on the front lines everything is real. Every moment I am unable to forget my mission in life. Everything is so much simpler. Not easier, simpler.
Before I left, I asked people to pray for me that I would have joy in my duties, and that I would not get weighed down in normality. Brothers and sisters, I don't know how to thank you enough! I had hoped that God would give me joy, but what I'm experiencing here exceeded all my wildest hopes! Each day as I serve, my conscience dances like a feather on the wind. I'm aware of this constant delight deep within me that nothing dampens for long, and my voice is loosed to sing because I just can't hold it in. My Maker is my Father! He loves me! He sent His Son to pay for all my sins when I was helpless. And then He's adopted me, and He counts me as both His daughter and friend! So here I am serving Him, working tangibly for His kingdom and living for His glory. And it's only a matter of time before He comes back to take me to live with Him in heaven!
And so I sing. I sing and sing and sing, and my voice rings through this house, which by the way, has great accoustics for the voice. I'm sure the Auntie who comes each day to help with the housework thinks I'm a little off my rocker. She caught me this morning as I was doing hand motions in the kitchen to a song I learned this summer. It had to be the most ridiculous motion in the whole song, and I looked up and she was watching me. Yeah. The other day she caught me quoting away as "Yente," from Fiddler on the Roof. I had no idea anyone was around, and then I feel these big pats on my back. I turn around, and there's Auntie, laughing. Uh...oops...
Oh, by the way, here's a picture I took this morning. Gotta love fridge magnets!!!
Unfortunately, this family is not "into" fantasy that much. Until I can begin reading "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, " by C.S. Lewis out loud to the kids. >:D
Another post later. Try your best to survive until then...Har dee har har.
~Cadenza
The sun is shining today. That's very good, because it'll dry our clothes outside. Inside, the fan is going full blast, but it's on the inverter, because my battery on my computer is slowly draining. Outside of the window, the sunshine gleams on all the foilage in the still, warm air. In short, it's a golden afternoon. Someday when I'm old, I'll close my eyes and wish to be where I am now.
I wish I could express how lovely each day is. Something funny or beautiful or meaningful happens every day. Life here is so much slower, and I love it.
Back home, I rushed around all the time, searching for pleasure and excitement, and sulked when I couldn't find it. I would tell you that Jesus Christ was the only thing that could fill every nook and cranny of my hungry soul, but that's not how I lived. I tried to see how much work I could do to earn time for myself, and when I got it, I hid away and vainly attempted to make myself believe that I was happy. Life was so insipid, so meaningless. Something was horribly wrong. I know I love the Lord, but where was my joy? I had told someone several weeks ago that I couldn't remember the last time I had felt true joy bubble up within me so that I could not keep from singing.
I'm determined that this be a short blog post, so I will not explain fully right now. Suffice it for now to say that as I'm here serving the Lord, joy has found me again. Every day as I give and serve, I know what it is to live for God's greater glory. Here out on the front lines everything is real. Every moment I am unable to forget my mission in life. Everything is so much simpler. Not easier, simpler.
Before I left, I asked people to pray for me that I would have joy in my duties, and that I would not get weighed down in normality. Brothers and sisters, I don't know how to thank you enough! I had hoped that God would give me joy, but what I'm experiencing here exceeded all my wildest hopes! Each day as I serve, my conscience dances like a feather on the wind. I'm aware of this constant delight deep within me that nothing dampens for long, and my voice is loosed to sing because I just can't hold it in. My Maker is my Father! He loves me! He sent His Son to pay for all my sins when I was helpless. And then He's adopted me, and He counts me as both His daughter and friend! So here I am serving Him, working tangibly for His kingdom and living for His glory. And it's only a matter of time before He comes back to take me to live with Him in heaven!
And so I sing. I sing and sing and sing, and my voice rings through this house, which by the way, has great accoustics for the voice. I'm sure the Auntie who comes each day to help with the housework thinks I'm a little off my rocker. She caught me this morning as I was doing hand motions in the kitchen to a song I learned this summer. It had to be the most ridiculous motion in the whole song, and I looked up and she was watching me. Yeah. The other day she caught me quoting away as "Yente," from Fiddler on the Roof. I had no idea anyone was around, and then I feel these big pats on my back. I turn around, and there's Auntie, laughing. Uh...oops...
Oh, by the way, here's a picture I took this morning. Gotta love fridge magnets!!!
Unfortunately, this family is not "into" fantasy that much. Until I can begin reading "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, " by C.S. Lewis out loud to the kids. >:D
Another post later. Try your best to survive until then...Har dee har har.
~Cadenza
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